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| A fallen angel on Halloween © Shutterbug |
I didn't actually realize ahead of time that our guest was the bible-thumping, socially challenged wing nut he turned out to be, or perhaps I would have reconsidered the costume. He was the new husband of my childhood French teacher from out of province, and they were stopping by for a brief visit on their way to their honeymoon. The whole thing came about rather suddenly.
After a hug and a handshake hello, our guests sat awkwardly across from my wife and I on the sofa, and I began to catch up with my former teacher. I could feel her husband's eyes on me, and periodically glanced over to find him literally sitting on the edge of his seat, leaning forward to stare at me like a little boy who had just wandered into the freak tent at the circus. To say this became disconcerting and distracting would be an understatement. Apropos of nothing he suddenly blurted, "So did you have a ceremony and everything?". I looked him in the eye for a moment before responding. "Yes, we got married, so there was a ceremony just like every wedding." I wasn't sure where he was going with this, but I was already feeling uneasy with his intense expression and body language. "Well, good for you…because you realize the bible condemns it outright."
Seriously?
My wife somehow managed to politely deflect his judgmental statement, while I was rendered speechless. Our conversation flirted with danger for the next few moments while we tried to get back into neutral territory, but he couldn't let it go. He stated that throughout history people have interpreted the word of the bible to suit their own needs, by saying that God had made them do things, and this absolved them of any responsibility for their own actions. He cited the genocides committed by both Moses and Hitler as examples of people supposedly acting on their interpretations of God's word, and appeared to be making the point that the word of the bible was not always accurate. Then he dropped a verbal bomb. "The bible says the gays and people living in sin should be stoned to death, but now that's a little barbaric." You think?
Was he really sitting in my home, with my wife and I, referring to us as "the gays"?
At this moment his wife–my former teacher–finally joined the conversation by saying, "Oh, don't get him started on religion". As if we'd been in the driver's seat.
It was a most confusing situation, because offensive comments would burst forth from him like uncontrollable tics, but then he would add statements (like the "good for you") that made it seem as though he were trying to be supportive. We still aren't sure what to make of it all. Perhaps it's fair to say that he isn't sure either.
To add insult to injury, my former teacher and I left the room for a moment together, and the preacher man jumped to his feet. He marched over to my wife and got right in her face, close-talking to share information that hadn't been requested. He explained that since his wife had died seven years prior, he and his litter of mostly adult children couldn't keep up with running the house, so they needed someone to help with the cooking and cleaning. I felt sick when I heard this, wondering whether my friend is aware of her perceived role in her marriage.
The final kicker came when the four of us were seated together again, and my friend told me that since the sale of her house closed just a couple of weeks prior to her wedding, she had moved in with her new fiancé a little early. Apparently this was such an affront to one of her grown soon-to-be stepchildren still living in her soon-to-be-home, that the young man had insisted on pitching a tent and sleeping outdoors to avoid being under the same roof as two people "living in sin". This sort of pious judgement has never made sense to me, and is part of why I can't get behind organized religion. I try to respect the fact that other people have different beliefs than I do, and I wouldn't dream of telling someone else how they should live their life. If you happen to believe that there will be a final judgment day, then it would hold true that there will be consequences that are still of no consequence to you. Live and let live.
We calmly redirected the conversation yet again with our visitors, knowing there was nothing to be achieved in debating this man, and bid them a friendly enough goodbye at the end of their short visit. I do find myself wishing I had a few of those moments back to do over, but we handled it as best we could. I don't know whether to tell my friend now how disappointed I am that she would bring him into our home, knowing his personal views. The chance of us ever seeing them again is quite slim, and I don't want to rain on my friend's newlywed parade, but I'm not comfortable leaving things status quo. I think by not letting her know how we feel we are in fact condoning his behaviour. And his behaviour was just not acceptable.
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| What Georgia thought of the costume © Shutterbug |
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